Local Gay Couples Say Rally was a Good Show of Support
The MetroWest Daily News
By Kathy Uek
November 16, 2008

Kate and Diane Benison of Northborough married on May 17, 2004, the day same-sex marriage became legal in the Bay State.

Kate was unable to attend a rally in support of gay marriage outside Boston City Hall on Saturday, one of many nationwide after a recent vote by Californians to ban it. But she and other local same-sex couples yesterday said the demonstrations were important.

"What the rallies signify is that gay people are no longer content to lie down and get rolled over as second-class citizens, which is why my name is Benison," she said.

After living together for more than 20 years, Kate took Diane's last name when they married.

"If I hadn't changed my name, we would have been just as invisible as we were before," Kate said. "For me, taking her name was a way of making people notice that we are here and we are just like everybody else. Gay people are out of patience.

"It's not like the world ended when we were married," Kate said.

She called same-sex marriage a matter of civil rights.

"It's not a lifestyle choice. It's how you are," she said. "If people could just once turn it around and imagine to be told your relationships or your commitments are worthless and mean nothing. ... It's morally wrong."

According to the Williams Institute of UCLA's School of Law, about 18,000 same-sex couples live in California, where proponents of the ban argued it would reverse a decision by a state court that made same-sex marriage legal. Supporters said the court decision would lead schools to teach students about gay marriage and undermine heterosexual marriage.

The recent vote surprised Kate Watson of Mendon.

"California of all states," said Watson, who is married to Joanne Goodnow. She said she believes clergy, especially the Mormon church, urged parishioners to vote for the gay marriage ban.

"The gays in California have to get together and find a legal reason to bring it back again and really campaign for it," Watson said.

Lisa Eisenbud of Framingham legally married Iris Godes in 2004. She sees the rallies serving a purpose.

"I'm glad there's a bit of a ruckus," she said. "If there wasn't any kind of fuss, it would go away and that's not helpful.

"We can't let them get away with it," said Eisenbud, who has shared a relationship with Godes for 28 years. "It's disappointing, but you have to figure eventually it will come, and we'll make it through these times. Massachusetts isn't used enough as an example."

Watson wants people to understand being gay is not a choice.

"I knew when I was about 6 years old I was different," she said.

About 11 years later, Watson read and identified with a story about a lesbian.

"I thought, oh my gosh. I didn't want to believe it," she said. "I quickly began dating, hoping to be wrong. But when it came to kissing, I wasn't interested."

At 20, she told her parents. Her father understood. Her mother kicked her out of the house. A year later, she reconnected with her mother.

Watson and Goodnow met in the '60s. They stayed together until Goodnow died of pancreatic cancer in 2007.

"It was quite a loss," said Watson, who suffers from a degenerative bone disease, scoliosis and osteoporosis. She went blind in 2005.

"She was my legs and then she became my eyes," she said. "If I were physically able, I would have attended the rally."