Same-Sex Marriage: Something New, Indeed
The Hartford Courant
By Korky Vann
November 12, 2008
As soon as Genaro Hathaway and his partner Steven
Kottage got word of the Connecticut Supreme Court's
decision legalizing same-sex marriage, they started
planning their wedding. The Shelton couple, who have
been together for 18½ years and who are the parents
of a 10-year-old son, agreed: The day would include
all the details that make up a traditional wedding.
"We've been waiting for this for a long time,"
says Hathaway, a 44-year-old attorney. "The church,
the caterers, florists, music, the cake, dancing,
family, friends — we want it all."
They're not alone. Estimates are that 34 percent
to 50 percent of all same-sex couples plan a
ceremony at some point in their lives. Connecticut
couples, who can begin requesting marriage licenses
today, will most likely plan traditional
celebrations, according to Cindy Sproul, co-founder
of RainbowWeddingNetwork.com, which includes a
website directory of gay-friendly wedding-services
providers and a quarterly magazine.
"We have yet to see anything very different when
it comes to gay weddings," says Sproul. "Just like
straight couples, gay couples will personalize the
ceremony based on their spiritual beliefs and the
level of family involvement. The celebrations range
from backyard events to destination weddings to huge
extravaganzas costing $200,000 or more. But in
general, gay couples are looking for the same
wedding-services providers as straight couples."
Businesses listed on RainbowWeddingNetwork.com
have been screened to ensure that they are
comfortable dealing with gay clientele. The company
also produces a series of gay wedding bridal fairs
called the Same Love, Same Rights Wedding & Family
Expo. One such event is scheduled for December in
Shelton and will feature banquet facilities, limo
drivers, photographers, bands, pastry chefs,
financial planners, caterers and other service
vendors.
"Companies want to be supportive," says Sproul.
"In this economy, they also see working with gay
couples as good business sense."
RainbowWeddingNetwork.com estimates the average
budget for a gay or lesbian wedding is $15,000 to
$20,000, with many weddings budgeted at $100,000 or
more, even in states where same-sex marriage is not
recognized.
A study conducted by the Institute for Gay and
Lesbian Strategic Studies and the Williams Project
of UCLA Law School in 2006 found that Connecticut
could expect to see a boost to its wedding and
tourist businesses that could bring in close to $2
million a year in sales-tax revenues.
"We've seen a lot of spending by same-sex couples
on weddings in Massachusetts, and Connecticut
couples are also likely to spend thousands of
dollars if they could marry," said economist and
study co-author, Dr. M.V. Lee Badgett, when the
study was released.
Love Makes a Family, a Connecticut gay-rights
coalition, has added a wedding resource page to its
website, www.lmfct.org, with listings of officiants,
caterers, reception facilities and other businesses.
David Grisworld of Coastal Gourmet Inc. in
Stonington says that as soon as the state approved
gay marriage, he called Love Makes A Family to add
his company to the list.
"We're in the people business. When two people
get married, it is one of the main events in their
life, and the makeup of the couple doesn't matter to
us," says Griswold. "What matters is that the day is
everything they want it to be."
So far, what that means to Hathaway and Kottage
is a May wedding, perhaps at Waveny House, a
historical home in New Canaan, maybe for less than
100, or perhaps more than 125 relatives and friends,
perhaps with a sit-down dinner, or maybe a buffet.
Flowers, colors, music and hundreds of other details
are yet to be decided.
"When you plan a traditional wedding, you have to
expect the traditional wedding stress as well," says
Hathaway. "It's a new experience for us, and it's
all great."
• The Same Love Same Rights Wedding Expo in
Connecticut will be held at the Courtyard by
Marriott Shelton on Dec. 7 from 12:30 to 3:30 p.m.
and is free and open to the public. Details:
samelovesamerights.com
