Hum a Few Bar Exam

Prof. Eugene Volokh, UCLA Law School *

 

Published at 2 Green Bag 2d 125 (1998).
 
 
 

              CONTRACTS:

              You couldn't get what you wanted, but you got what you needed instead.  You sue for breach of warranty.  What is the measure of damages?

             

              ENVIRONMENTAL LAW:

              Big wheel keeps on turning; Proud Mary keeps on burning (or "boining").  What is the maximum level of particulate emissions Proud Mary may put out?  Is an Environmental Impact Statement required?

             

              EVIDENCE:

              Can my admitting that I shot the sheriff be used as prior bad act evidence in my trial for shooting the deputy?  If I want to introduce my prior denial of shooting the deputy, will I be barred by the hearsay rule?

             

              FAMILY LAW:

              I've got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack -- I went out for a ride and I never went back.  How much alimony and child support do I owe?  Am I within reach of the long-arm statute?

             

              CRIMINAL LAW:

              I'm an ordinary guy, burning down the house.  That's right -- don't want to hurt nobody.  People on their way to work, and baby what do you expect?  What sentence would I get under the Federal Guidelines for my arson conviction?

             

              CRITICAL LEGAL STUDIES:

              I am the egg man.  I am the walrus.  Deconstruct.  Explain relevance to ruling-class influences in farm subsidies and the law of the sea.  Should it be "I am the egg person"? Goo goo goo joob.  

 


 

    *    Oddly enough, Eugene Volokh has been allowed to teach law at UCLA Law School.  For his baptism of humor, see Alex Kozinski & Eugene Volokh, Lawsuit, Shmawsuit, 103 Yale L.J. 463 (1993).  Thanks to D.L. MacLaughlan for authoritative transliteration.