The Business of Marriage
Washington Blade
By Zack Rosen
September 19, 2008

California wedding industry enjoying upswing despite Prop 8’s unknown fate.

Marriage may be a sacred institution, but it’s also big business.

In California, the wedding industry had much to gain following the legalization of same-sex marriage. In San Francisco, arguably the epicenter of gay marriage, some residents saw the results overnight.

“The day after the decision came from the Supreme Court, and I’m pretty sure it was the absolute day after, there was a big ad for Macy’s in the local newspaper with a gay couple in it,” says Jewelle Gomez, who along with her partner, Diane Sabin, was a plaintiff in the case for gay marriage in California. “I’m not surprised. I think it’s only the first step of getting people to recognize you in the culture.”

This was truly the summer of love for same-sex couples in California, who were finally allowed to wed starting in June and were immediately targeted by marketers. The Bay Area Reporter, a gay San Francisco newspaper, published a same-sex wedding resource guide containing three articles on marriage and page after page of advertisements for wedding services. Limo companies, cake makers and even golf club vendors were making it clear to the gay residents of the Bay Area that their business was desired.

But were residents taking the bait?

“We’ve had one same-sex couple since the decision and one before it,” says Kim Vanderheiden, the straight owner of Painted Tongue Studio, a San Francisco business that prints invitations. “We advertised in the Bay Area Reporter and did not see any traction from it. I suspect that some people are holding off on planning the bigger events until the referendum.”

The Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law projected in June that same-sex couples spending money on weddings and tourism would generate $63.8 million in tax revenue for California’s state and local governments, and that California’s wedding and tourism industry will see a $683.6 million increase in business over three years. No hard data has been released yet on the actual financial gains since the Supreme Court decision, but anecdotal evidence suggests that the projected tidal wave of lavender dollars has not yet materialized.

“People are unsure,” says Alan Baer, the gay senior vice president of people and information for the Kimpton Hotel Group. “If they have a marriage between now and the election, the status of their marriage could be annulled if the ‘Yes on Proposition 8’ folks were able to win. For some people, that could have happened twice already.”

Several other Kimpton hotels in San Francisco offer special packages for newlyweds, but Baer says that they have not had an increase of same-sex couples visiting from out of state. He predicts that the number will increase and cites another reason that the marriage bug has not yet hit en masse.

“The thing to remember is that this is really new,” Baer says. “The people we’re seeing that have gotten married so far have been in committed relationships for some time. You’ll have a whole generation of people doing what’s normal: meeting each other, dating and getting married … just like the rest of the world that has that ability forever.”

Despite a drop in business that some businesses have seen due to the country’s struggling economy, there are more gays and lesbians making relationships official than before, sources said. Kimpton’s Sir Francis Drake Hotel in San Francisco has hosted six same-sex marriages since the decision, compared to the one commitment ceremony held there last year.

David Clay Jewelers has seen a 30 percent increase in sales of men’s bands, though it has not seen a significant rise in women’s. Its staff has also seen a trend of gay men preferring slightly more ornate wedding bands than their straight counterparts and women picking less ornate, wider bands with small inlaid stones. But the biggest difference between David Clay’s gay and straight customers lies in how they are treated by the store’s staff.

“I try to be a little more sensitive [with gay] couples than I normally am,” says David Clay’s straight gemologist Rubin Tavake. “I try to be more of an understanding person, to see what they see.”

While many California businesses want the gay dollar, the true test of the post-marriage business boom will be whether or not the needs of the gay consumer are met. Many feel they’ve had enough insensitivity in their lives — they surely don’t want more of it as they make wedding plans.

“It’s really important that for gay people, no matter where they get married, they don’t want to deal with homophobia,” says gay wedding photographer Ben Janken, who began shooting gay commitment ceremonies in the Bay Area in the mid-’80s. “They want to be around people that love them and see gay people as normal.”

If businesses are genuinely gay friendly, that could prove to be the biggest draw for same-sex customers who may decide to officially marry if the referendum is shot down in November. However, it will take some negotiating on both sides.

Though people like Tavake are taking steps to make gay customers feel comfortable, there is a certain amount of unease on the part of some gay patrons as well. When Vanderheiden tried to sign up for a booth at Pride, she had an initially contentious interaction with the man facilitating the process.

He said, ‘Do you have invitations that are butch? Gay guys don’t like frilly things.’ I said we do custom invitations. When I explained how we worked he was fine, but at first he was confrontational about it.”

Despite stories like this, Janken is confident that most businesses don’t work with gay and lesbian customers unless they’re comfortable doing so. He cites a recent case in New Mexico where a Christian wedding photographer was fined nearly $7,000 for refusing to work with a lesbian couple.
 
The businesses that are willing to work with gay couples do stand to make a profit, and in the Bay Area there is no shortage of such businesses.

One is Herth Real Estate, a gay-owned business that has operated out of the Castro neighborhood in San Francisco since 1967. Its ad has the tagline “Need a Threshold?” and shows a rainbow touching down on the San Francisco skyline, suggesting married gay couples should “settle down” there. While it is too early to tell, this could be another harbinger of change for an already changing gay community — ads targeted to gay families.

“I think marriage becoming a formal institution will garner support from friends and family,” says gay Herth employee Larry Stebbins. “Relationships that receive more support have a higher probability of staying together and creating homes and families with children and pets and mortgages.”

Stebbins also says that his percentage of gay clients has risen in the last several months.