November 18, 2006
View the video clip here.
Gay couples can't legally get
married in Texas, but they are allowed
to raise children. It's controversial,
but very common — especially in San
Antonio.
Census numbers show the city has a
higher percentage of gay couples
raising kids than any other city in
the United States.
"We've chosen to have these
children because we can't have them
naturally," Andy Sutherland-Trevino
said.
Nothing is stopping Andy
Sutherland-Trevino from being a
parent. He's fostered 21 children,
adopted four and is in the process of
adopting another child.
"People ask me, 'How do you do it,'
and I just say, 'We just do. We just
do,'" Andy Sutherland-Trevino said.
Andy is gay and raising these kids
with his partner, Mark
Sutherland-Trevino.
"They call me daddy and call Andy
tata," Mark Sutherland-Trevino said.
The Sutherland-Trevinos share a
hyphenated last name, a house on San
Antonio's West Side and custody of
their children.
"We come home from school, the kids
do homework, eat dinner, have baths,
the kids go to bed, and we do bedtime
stories. There's nothing different.
The only difference is we're two
guys," Mark Sutherland-Trevino said.
Two men or two women raising
children is not that uncommon anymore,
according to a study in the Gay and
Lesbian Atlas.
San Antonio has the highest
percentage of gay couples raising
kids, based on population. The 2000
census reports that 36 percent of
same-sex couples here have children.
"That actually means that there's
nearly 1,100 same-sex couples raising
probably about 2,000 children in San
Antonio," said Gary Gates, the study's
author.
Gates is not surprised by the
numbers because of San Antonio's
Hispanic population.
"We found that nationally,
Hispanics in same-sex couples were
much more likely to have children than
their white counterparts," Gates said.
The Sutherland-Trevinos said the
Hispanic culture is accepting and has
been pro-family. They also said the
San Antonio Children's Shelter isn't
faith-based and encouraged them to
adopt. They also said that San Antonio
judges are more family-oriented.
Attorney Rosie Gonzalez is on the
board of Equality Texas and says we've
come a long way.
"It's a positive thing for San
Antonio. I think that, nationwide,
there's a message being sent that we
are family-oriented," Gonzalez said.
However, that's not the message
everyone in San Antonio wants to hear.
Some are against the idea for moral or
religious reasons. Others are against
it for psychological reasons.
"I don't think they (gay people)
can be the kind of parents that a
child needs. They may need that for
themselves, but I question whether the
child would have a valuable experience
with that kind of a background," said
Dr. Irv Loev, a marriage and family
therapist.
Loev said based on his experience,
children need a traditional family
environment.
"I think men and women are
different, very distinctively
different, and I think a child exposed
to both enables them to have a better
identity of who they are," Loev said.
He said he can't imagine it being
healthy, especially for the little
girls being raised by two male
parents, without a female influence in
the home.
"Teaching the child puberty. I
think them raising a female child
would be very difficult," Loev said.
His other concern is the children
might not fit in well at school. The
Sutherland-Trevinos share that
concern.
"One of our children was being
taunted and picked on, but he was
strong and said, 'My parents love
me,'" Andy Sutherland-Trevino said.
Even with the criticism, Mark and
Andy Sutherland-Trevino said they
wouldn't have it any other way.
"We didn't mean to have seven
children. We were just blessed with
seven," Andy Sutherland-Trevino said.
Currently, the Sutherland-Trevinos
have four adopted children and are
adopting another child in December.
They also care for two foster kids.
The study showed that gay couples
with children are raising two kids on
average.
And while San Antonio ranks first
for gay couples raising kids, Houston
comes in fourth, and Fort Worth and
Arlington rank fifth.
