California Gay
Marriages Begin Today
The Advocate
By Sue Rochman
June 17, 2008“We have breaking news! We’re gonna get
married!”
If you call the Davis, Calif., home of Shelly Bailes,
67, and Ellen Pontac, 66, today, that’s the voice mail
recording you’ll hear. But if you wait until this evening,
you’ll get a greeting that includes two words both women
have waited more than three decades to say: “My wife.”
At 5 p.m. today California’s supreme court ruling goes
into effect, the words “Party A” and “Party B” replace
“bride” and “groom” on marriage licenses, and wedding
bells will start ringing for same-sex couples throughout
California. And at 5:01, Bailes and Pontac will be the
first same-sex couple to say “I do” in Yolo County.
First Marriage Minutes
San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom was the first to
question whether it might be possible to start marrying
couples at the close of Monday’s workday rather than
waiting until the morning of June 17. And when the state
gave counties the go-ahead, Yolo County clerk-recorder
Freddie Oakley was the first clerk outside San Francisco
to jump on the idea. “I thought, why should these couples
have to wait any longer,” she says. “If they want to get
hitched, let’s hitch ’em up.”
Sonoma County clerk-recorder-assessor Janice Atkinson
was inspired to move forward after she got a call from a
couple who told her that June 16 was their 15-year
anniversary. “I felt like if it’s legal and we can start,”
she says, “then the question wasn’t why would I but why
wouldn’t I.” Atkinson will be marrying that couple, Chris
Lechman and Mark Gren, at 5:01 tonight. “She was so
gracious and so wonderful,” says Lechman. “So I told her
I’d love for you to do our ceremony and make history with
us.”
Late last week, Alameda County clerk-recorder Patrick
O’Connell announced that his office would allow same-sex
couples to start marrying June 16 at 6 p.m. To mark the
momentous event, the first ceremonies will be officiated
by Oakland mayor Ronald Dellums at Oakland City Hall with
congresswoman Barbara Lee and other elected officials
serving as witnesses.
And on June 12, Acting Registrar-Recorder-Clerk Dean
Logan announced that Los Angeles would issue the first
same-sex marriage license to Robin Tyler and Diane Olson.
The couple were plaintiffs in a 2004 lawsuit that was
consolidated with the San Francisco lawsuit that led to
the state supreme court ruling. The couple, who have been
together for 15 years, will be married by a rabbi in front
of the Beverly Hills courthouse at 5:01 p.m. Logan issued
the early license to Tyler, a longtime gay activist, and
her partner, who is the granddaughter of a former
California governor, “in recognition of their unique role
in the court’s decision.”
San Francisco is gearing up for a huge media event when
Mayor Gavin Newsom will officiate at the marriage ceremony
of Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin in his office at 5:01. The
two women, who are both in their 80s and who have been
together for 55 years, are widely recognized as the
founding mothers of the lesbian rights movement. They were
the first couple to be married in San Francisco when Mayor
Newsom decided to challenge the state’s law. That ceremony
was a private event that was then announced to the world.
This time, they will have their family members and friends
there to celebrate with them.
Tuesday Marriage Rush
Elsewhere on Monday night, thousands of couples, along
with their florists, bakers, tailors, and wedding
organizers, will be writing vows, hemming dresses and suit
jackets, and putting the final flourishes on wedding cakes
and floral arrangements in preparation for Tuesday’s
marriage rush.
As they get ready for what is expected to be
California’s highest-ever volume wedding day and week, a
number of the state’s 58 county clerks have announced
extended hours. Some also plan to have extra staff and
volunteers on hand. Some counties, like San Diego and
Orange County, are taking reservations for marriage
licenses and marriage ceremonies. Others, like Los
Angeles, will operate on a first come-first served basis.
In San Diego County, 177 couples have booked
appointments. The clerk’s office isn’t sure how many are
for same-sex couples. However, according to assistant
director Sandra Banaga, a typical June day might have 70
ceremonies and the number of appointments already
surpasses their highest ever Valentine’s Day of 151
marriages.
To keep up with the demand, San Diego has extended its
hours on Tuesday. Tom Felkner and Bob Lehman garnered the
first time slot -- 7:00 a.m.
The couple, who celebrated their 15th anniversary on
May 18, had never considered marrying anywhere other than
San Diego. “We’ve always felt that we deserved the right
to get married in our hometown,” says Felkner. “We weren’t
going to settle for anything else than the same equal
rights as our neighbors, so we’ve been holding out for
this day.”
Lehman is a former marine, and the couple asked Tom’s
brother, a Marine Corps retiree, to officiate. “It’s our
version of a military wedding.”
Family members and close friends will attend the
ceremony, and the two men will each read vows they wrote.
But Tuesday night the couple will host a very large
reception. “We are opening it up and playing host to any
other couples who are getting married,” says Lehman. “We
wanted this to be a community celebration.” In lieu of
gifts, the couple are asking for donations to Equality for
All’s “Vow to Vote No” campaign to fight the November
ballot initiative that, if it passes, would bring the
wedding rush to an abrupt halt. “We’ve been together for
so long,” says Lehman, “and it means more to us to have
people” help us fight marriage equality.
In Contra Costa County, Stephen L. Weir knows that he
and his partner, John Hemm, will be the first to marry on
Tuesday morning. That’s because Weir is the county
clerk-recorder. “I’m first in line,” he jokes, “because I
have the key.” He and his partner will marry at 8:30 a.m.
Weir, a Scotsman, will wear the family kilt; Hemm will don
a tuxedo. His staff will celebrate his wedding and then
get back to work, as they will have 14 more same-sex
couples to marry that day.
Weir and Hemm, who recently celebrated their 18th
anniversary, started acquiring a hope chest. “We have the
rings and the china,” says Weir. “We’ve had the dude
figurines for the cake for 10 years.” Now they’ve finally
got the wedding date. “I had doubts this would ever happen
in my work life, or in my life at all,” says Weir, who is
59. “So this is personally very exciting.”
Projections and Protests
The marriages that take place in California are
expected to result in tens of thousands of glowing brides
and grooms. They will also be a gold rush of sorts for the
ailing California economy. Using U.S. Census Bureau data,
and drawing on past experience in other states, the
University of California, Los Angeles, Williams Institute
on Sexual Orientation Law and Public Policy predicts that
about 51,319 same-sex couples living in California will
marry over the next thee years and that they will be
joined by 67,513 couples from other states. And these
weddings, the institute reports, will boost the economy of
the state by over $683 million over the next three years
and bring in about $63.8 million in local and state taxes
Media throughout the state have reported that along
with many county clerks' offices, hotels, wedding
planners, florists, caterers, and others are seeing an
uptick in business and looking at ways to capture this new
market. Meanwhile, Evans Hotels, which owns the
five-diamond Lodge at Torrey Pines as well as two other
hotels and resort boats in San Diego, has announced it
will donate 5% of the proceeds it receives from same-sex
couples to an organization fighting the ballot initiative.
County officials are also preparing for antigay
individuals and groups who are expected to protest
same-sex weddings. Ronald Brocke, who drove his
anti-same-sex marriage “Marriage Mobile” around the San
Francisco Civic Center as the state supreme court heard
the marriage equality case, told the Marin Independent
Journal that he intends to embark on a 15-county tour of
county clerks' offices to protest same-sex marriage.
Meanwhile, omnipresent antigay protester Fred Phelps, who
heads the Westboro Baptist Church, has scheduled protests
on Monday from 4:30 p.m. to 6 p.m. at San Francisco City
Hall. On Tuesday, Phelps's group intends to protest from 7
a.m. to 8 a.m. at Weir’s office in Martinez and then again
at San Francisco’s City Hall.
The clerks in Butte and Kern counties both made
headlines nationwide when they announced they would stop
performing all marriages on June 17 rather than start
marrying same-sex couples. Both clerks said their decision
was due to budgetary reasons. As required by law, both
counties will continue to issue marriage licenses.
(Conducting ceremonies has always been optional.) But they
might not have that many takers. Butte County couple Linda
and Vickie Mandy-Heath will be getting married on July 5.
But they are going to go to a different county to get
their license. “Why should we support a county that won’t
support us?” says Linda. “I’d rather give another county
my money.”
Love Hits the Road
Bailes and Pontac, who have been together for 34 years,
will be the first of seven couples who marry in Yolo
County on Monday night. The couple went to Vermont in 2000
when that state approved civil unions and made a
commitment to one another there on July 14. In 2002 they
become domestic partners in San Francisco, and in 2004
they were back in the city as the 45th couple to get
married on February 12. But none of those ceremonies, they
say, was as fun and as exciting as this one will be. “For
years, we’ve walked by the beautiful wedding room at the
county recorder’s office and would look in,” says Bailes.
“To know that we can marry there is wonderful.”
On June 21 the couple will have a wedding reception.
And everyone in Davis is welcome. “The building holds
close to 400 people, and we are hoping to fill it,” says
Pontac. The couple will have several wedding cakes. But
they don’t want gifts. Instead, they will ask friends and
family members to celebrate their wedding by donating to
their nonprofit organization For Gay Equality. That will
allow them to spend the summer and fall going around the
state talking to other seniors about the ballot initiative
and marriage equality. “We think that if we can speak to
other seniors one-on-one they won’t vote against us,” says
Bailes, adding that she and Pontac want them to understand
“that we are just as happy as everyone else and that our
love is just the same.”
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